What kind of phobic are you?

What's Your Phobia?

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Your favorite section of the newspaper is

the funnies the obits the classifieds the op-eds coupons

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If you have to die accidentally, you'd prefer to

stumble and sprawl in front of a tram electrocute yourself in a set tub choke on a cube of raw wagyu crunch down on a blowfish ovary pass out from sunstroke while gardening in Ecuador and be devoured by army ants

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You are mildly afraid of

spiders snakes the ocean the sun the air

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Which apocalyptic event are you expecting in your lifetime?

asteroid catastrophe perfect hyperstorm solar wink-out series of earthquakes opens up a huge crack neatly bisecting the globe worldwide coordinated attack of army ants

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Nobody believes you when you tell them there's

a strangler under your bed a vampire in your chiffarobe a grinning skull in your microwave a specter in your gazebo a zombie in your hot tub

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Your favorite end-of-the-world movie is

Armageddon Apocalypse Now Attack of the Killer Tomatoes The Day After The Last Airbender

Ready to send

You can make them up yourself, then con strangers into wasting their own time taking them.   Here’s the first:

What obscure body part are you?

If you were a body part, what would you be?

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A really cute guy/girl asks you out!!! You

call the police tell him/her you're old enough to be his/her grandmother/grandfather ask him/her what kind of girl/guy does he/she think you are? say "sure" and then prank him so that he shows up at the wrong address and gets clocked by your crazy Uncle Delbert wake up sneer, say "Good one!" and walk away, your heart shattering into jagged shards

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It's third period and you're late for Mrs. Armbruster's geometry test. You rush into class, grab a test sheet, and head for your desk. You notice that everyone is pointing at you and laughing, Then you realize you aren't wearing any pants. You

bolt for the door, covering your ass with the test sheet vomit wake up in bed wake up on the classroom floor, half-naked and covered with vomit pass the test with flying colors secretly enjoy yourself

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You awaken from a terrible nightmare, the details of which are instantly lost to you. You are drenched in cold sweat and have an overwhelming thirst. Blindly, you grope your way to the bathroom. You turn on the light, and there, in the mirror over the sink, is a sight that stops your breath. It's

a death threat written in lip gloss tiny speckles of toothpaste that spell out 666 your face, aged fifty years your actual face right this minute a post-it with a smiley face the spitting image of Cthulu

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Your favorite fashion color is

salmon trout bone concrete blancmange sperm

What obscure body part are you?